


Introspection

by grimscribbler



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Non-binary pronouns til the Doctor regenerates, Short One Shot, return of insomniac writing, thirteen is fascinating for me man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 15:39:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17286818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimscribbler/pseuds/grimscribbler
Summary: Every regeneration is different, but this one is special.





	Introspection

**Author's Note:**

> Why hello! :D
> 
> I vomited this out at 1 am cause I'm obsessed and I had Thoughts™ after the new episode.

* * *

  
  
Throughout their life, the Doctor had always been the purveyor of good intentions. Perhaps things didn't always go to plan, but at least the Earth was safe in the end. At least it kept turning.  
  
In a way, the Doctor could relate to Earth. They were similar to planets orbiting. Violently crashing through the silent vacuum of space, with only the thread of gravity to reign them in.   
  
Always turning, always moving. Always alone. The Doctor had never been able to keep an asteroid within orbit without letting it go. Or drawing it too close to their stratosphere - an unwitting casualty as it burnt to dust.   
  
The Doctor often felt that if they were to stop - if they were to settle down in one space for too long... They'd break something that couldn't be fixed. As strong as the Doctor was, and as immortal as their various bodies had been... they'd always suffered from restlessness. An anxiousness that never ceased to stop itching beneath their skin, even if that skin changed.   
  
It was a simple fact they'd come to accept. If they stopped, they'd die.   
  
And for a while, it was true.   
  
They'd spent four and a half billion years trapped in a prison of their own demise and oh how their skin had itched and burned. It burned like the sun and then...   
  
They'd regenerated once more.   
  
But, something was different this time around. Her body still thrummed with energy, more energy than she'd experienced in her memory. This energy was new, exciting. Young.   
  
Reborn as a woman for the first time, and the Doctor had never felt so alive. The restlessness had gone somewhere new. It called to her, instead of driving her.   
  
This was where she found herself, hurtling through time and space, trying her best to live up to her own expectations. To be kind. To laugh out loud. To find the joy she'd lost.   
  
To finally heal.   
  
The Doctor stared at her unfamiliar hazel eyes, blinking slowly as thick strands of soft blonde hair dripped onto her cheekbones. Thoughts like this hit her from time to time, but it was odd. You'd think she'd be used to seeing a different face staring back at her by now.   
  
"...Doctor?"   
  
The Doctor blinked once more and immediately felt a grin pull at the corners of her lips. Graham O' Brien - gentle fatherly figure, full of dry wit and blinding, brilliant kindness. Ryan Sinclair - insightful boy, smart and capable with a heart of gold. And the speaker, Yasmin Khan. Gorgeous, intelligent in the most unexpected of ways. Always holding her heart on her sleeve.   
  
Her deep ebony eyes were searching, worried. The Doctor just smiled more, the energy fizzing and popping in her bones. Crackling like fireworks.  
  
Loneliness had never felt so far away.  
  
"Makes me a li'l nervous when you're silent. Everythin' alright?" Yaz said, reaching out unconsciously.   
  
"Everything's perfect, Yaz." The Doctor replied, eyes just a tad misty as she looked over her fam. She took Yaz's hand, thumb brushing over her smooth ocher skin. "It's absolutely perfect."   



End file.
